When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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