guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
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I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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