Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
