just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
