We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
