I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
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And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
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Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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