I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
