She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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