is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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