they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
