yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize