I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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