Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
