I wannas sexs uuuuu
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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