dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Randomize
