Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You need Xanax blowdarts
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
