Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
