Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
