Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
