I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
