i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
