Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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