i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
