He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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