So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
