Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.