He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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