I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
