he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i think i scared a bird with my dick
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
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as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
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I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.