Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+52): View more from Mexico

I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore

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(678): View more from Georgia

Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.

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(305): View more from Florida

I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.

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(206): View more from Washington

I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.

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