The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.