I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore