I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
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It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
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My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.