just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
