i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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