I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
