If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
