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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them

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• (916): View more from California

  Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms

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  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (607): View more from New York

  Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done

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  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (805): View more from California

  Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  And then audibly agreed

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers

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