she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
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