Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is