Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.

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  (417): No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times. http://tfl.nu/xlrm
  Replies (6) Good night (1381) Bad night (492)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Your an asshole

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Actually, it's "you're an asshole"

  (954): View more from Florida

  My point exactly

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  (954): Your an asshole (1-954): Actually, it's "you're an asshole" (954): My point exactly http://tfl.nu/txzi
  Replies (47) Good night (3588) Bad night (794)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just tell him i said nine months

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  (630): just tell him i said nine months http://tfl.nu/oqo8
  Replies (4) Good night (671) Bad night (3783)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant

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  (202): She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week (1-202): stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant http://tfl.nu/5f4w
  Replies (63) Good night (3773) Bad night (1384)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.

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  (513): And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool. http://tfl.nu/hylh
  Replies (4) Good night (3955) Bad night (893)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time

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  (208): Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time http://tfl.nu/nmkk
  Replies (4) Good night (7179) Bad night (1291)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.

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  (205): After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis. http://tfl.nu/x2c8
  Replies (4) Good night (2051) Bad night (557)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  wine lets you be on time to class apparently

  (619): View more from California

  This is a dangerous realization

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  (973): wine lets you be on time to class apparently (619): This is a dangerous realization http://tfl.nu/clwe
  Replies (4) Good night (1170) Bad night (895)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero

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  (571): Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero http://tfl.nu/k0h6
  Replies (9) Good night (1574) Bad night (505)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!

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  (631): I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving! http://tfl.nu/q0d4
  Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (461)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.

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  (614): Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich. http://tfl.nu/2wq9
  Replies (7) Good night (810) Bad night (371)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Just pee around me

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  (828): Just pee around me http://tfl.nu/21pc
  Replies (6) Good night (356) Bad night (591)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere

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  (302): well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere http://tfl.nu/jlyo
  Replies (0) Good night (538) Bad night (297)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?

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  (267): I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins? http://tfl.nu/zr7p
  Replies (7) Good night (888) Bad night (332)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.

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  (407): Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class. http://tfl.nu/mt7c
  Replies (0) Good night (536) Bad night (222)

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