planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
