u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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