watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
