I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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