When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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