I wish I could punch you in the face.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
