who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
