Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
