He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
