How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just had sex bonerless
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dicks are not precious.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
