Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
