The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
