so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
