those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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