Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
