very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
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If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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