In the future we'll all be gay
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
