I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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