i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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