STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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