definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
