ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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