Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
