Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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