New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
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just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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