I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
