my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
