If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
