she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
