I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
