Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
