her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
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