have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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