I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Randomize
