what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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