Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
