Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
3 2 1 whiskey
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
