I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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