I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
