I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
