The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
When are your genitals available?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
