Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
