ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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